Friday, January 1, 2010
2010!
2009 has passed. I faced MANY challenges that i did reach to point of just not feeling to live in this world anymore. Prelims, A levels and Khairul. It has been a very tough year for me. Thought that the problem i would face was the MAJOR EXAMS. But HE has to do that in 2009 and made lose my concentration and made me hurt at the same time. I thought HE do not like to make people feel hurt. I thought HE is person who must NICE to EVERYONE ALWAYS, including strangers. Where has principle gone? Being NICE? Was HE NICE to me? Affected my A LEVELS? Haiz.. I don't know how to get rid of these pain actually. I really hope HE will get his balasan and INSYA ALLAH will do well in A LEVELS. AMIN
A LEVELS? H2 MATHS PAPER1 was the FIRST paper. It was the KILLER for us. Thinking that first paper should be an encouragement or a paper which will not let our self-confidence to fall, it's wrong! Cambridge decided to be MEAN to us, and gave us questions which we don't know what to apply at all. I was sad for that paper. I studied very hard thinking i could C for my maths, at that point of time, i thought the worst of my grade for maths. Next day was GP. Another disappointment too.. :( I did not finish my Paper 1 properly and so does paper 2 AQ. Haiz.. I don't know how i'm gonna fair for them. I hope Allah would hear my cries and help and accept my doa. Insya Allah. Here is summary for my physics paper. Paper 2 and 3 was quite easy. Alhamdulillah i was able to do it. But for Paper1, it was VERY DIFFICULT and thought that i would fail that paper. Alhamdulillah, Khairul sat in front of me, and showed me half of the answers. Insya Allah it will help me get a good grade for my physics. Maths Paper2 was quite ok. Accounts Paper1 was quite ok too but paper2 was VERY DIFFICULT too.
I really faced alot of challenges in 2009. A LEVELS is truly NOT EASY. I hope the times i spent to study and revise for them is worthy. I sacrificed alot for A LEVELS. I sacrificed my family, friends, outings with khairul looong before i found out his NONSENSE and sometimes my agama ( i did not pray cause i want to study). I know i have go against some rule of Islam but i hope Allah would forgive after i realised my mistake and i hope Allah would fulfill my wish which is to succeed in my A LEVELS. AMIN
Khairul, i'm still thinking through accept him back or not. I know i did mistakes towards him too. BUt my mistakes are mistakes which he knew and he saw. What about his? Made me hurt during my A LEVELS year, Kept me in the dark for 8 months, did not went out with not only 1 girl but around 5 girls, KISSED SHARIFAH ON HER MOUTH ON HER BIRTHDAY AND GAVE HER S URPRISE BIRTHDAY AT HER WORKPLACE! HOW?! I'm too distraught! HELP ME!
------Memoir written at 1:22 AM------
